It happens to every parent. That moment when you are dropped. Instantly. You tuck your precious child in at night with a hug, a kiss, and an "I love you". And literally overnight, that same child doesn't want to be seen with you, speak with you in public, or acknowledge your existence in front of friends. God forbid you should actually speak his name out loud in front of his friends, thus shattering the fragile facade he has worked so hard to create that he doesn't even really know who you are.
I was hit smack in the forehead with this reality when Big Dude asked if he could go to the movies with some friends, including some girls, alone. Sure. As long as all the other parents understand it will be a co-ed outing and we are all on board with the agreed upon movie, I don't have a problem with stepping up the social freedoms a notch or two. But you know what sounds even better? Me and the other family members attending a different movie at the theater during that time. Seems to me that there's no reason the rest of us shouldn't enjoy a movie as well. It also saves me gas, not having to drive home after dropping you off only to turn around and pick you up in a few hours. Sounds logical, right? Holy shit, you would have thought I suggested drawing and quartering him ala Braveheart style. The sounds of pain emitting from him at the mere thought of having to endure such a horrific experience would have put Mel Gibson to shame. I tried to reassure him that I wouldn't set foot in his movie, wouldn't attempt to even lay eyes on him and his friends, and would behave like a perfect stranger should the unthinkable happen and we actually cross paths. All to no avail. He was ready to call the whole thing off and just not go. I can only imagine the look of "You can not be serious about this. Are you effin' kidding me with this shit?!" on my face at this point. I mean its a huge ass theater!! There are a shit-ton of different options there, and unless he is Justin Beiber or a Kardashian, I'm not sure he has any business trying to regulate who can and can't go there while he is in the building. Given the fact that he was scrambling to come up with the money to cover the movie and snacks for himself and his female friend, I think its safe to say that the Beibs he is NOT.
It was the first time I was faced with this new status quo. And I know its just the beginning. All in all, I'm okay with it I think. Overall we still have a pretty awesome relationship. He shares with me, voluntarily I might add, things that are going on with him at school with friends and girls and stuff. He always checks in with me when he is out with friends in the neighborhood, telling me where he's going to be or when he'll be home. And his friends all seem to respect the fact that this is the expectation, and don't give him a hard time about it. I've even had them check in with me when they are with him. Not too shabby.
He's been away this week on a vacation with my mom. He's farther away than a car ride for the first time and for longer than a few nights with a family member. And he has called me every night so far. To check in. And to chat. And to tell me about all the cool stuff. Like how when he's really quiet in the pool, he can hear the sounds of more different kinds of birds than he ever knew existed. And that the color of the red flowering bush next to the house is a brighter red than he could have ever imagined. And how amazingly beautiful a starfish is in the ocean, as opposed to in an aquarium. In fact, he just now, as I am typing this blog, called in the middle of the day to ask me what size his little sister is because he is at a gift shop and found a "really really cute little sundress" that he wants to get her. The kid has an amazing heart and I love love LOVE that he still wants to share his heart with his family. I know not to take it for granted because if this mentality isn't nurtured and cultivated carefully, it can disappear faster than Lindsey Lohan's underwear at a Los Angeles night club.
I'm trying to prepare myself for the years to come, when its not just Big Dude asking me to step back, but also Little Dude and Little Diva as well. And I've decided to handle it in the mature and adult manner that would be expected of me. I'm going to do my damnedest to be every inch of the embarrassing mother that I am being punished for not being yet. Lets call it a lesson on "Self-Fulfilling Prophecy". I will do my very best to fulfill your expectations of me. If you expect me to be polite and respectful of your privacy and personal preferences, I will happily meet that expectation. However, if you expect me to be an embarrassment and humiliate you, I got that covered too. Just like I expect you to do well in school, be a good citizen, help those in need, and grow into a fine upstanding young man. Which you are doing an amazing job of doing, I might add. Instead of expecting you to be loser punk who's going to end up living in my basement forever. Cuz if I expected that of you, you'd probably meet that expectation. See how that works? So I'll give you another chance to rethink how you might want to handle future situations where you might have no other choice but to be seen with me in public. This is called empowerment. I'm empowering you to determine your own destiny in this matter. Cuz I care about your destiny. But if you want, I have lots of other ideas too. Lots. And I am very creative. This could be fun. Muaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!!!
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