I remember being a kid and getting more and more excited as the school year drew to a close. Sitting in class daydreaming of all the fun I was going to have with my friends, running amok in our neighborhood day after day, playing barefoot in the sun, swimming until I was pruned, standard "kid summer fare" shenanigans. Even now as an adult, I get a little bit giddy on my kids behalf as the school year winds down and the anticipation of summer fun builds. Especially as they have gotten older and have earned a bit more freedom. Summer hanging out with friends without parental units looming over your shoulder = awesome fun and amazing summer memories.
Unless its raining. And you are trapped inside. With your parents. And your siblings. Without your friends. Who are trapped inside their respective houses with their parents and siblings. For days on end. Oh. My. God.
School has been out for a week and a half and we have had a total of 2.5 days of sun since then. And I get that it doesn't have to be sunny in order to play outside with friends. But it seems like its been only extremes so far. Either its a nice day or its donkey sucking crappy. If the sun's not out, its pouring rain. And in the spirit of maintaining what little degree of sanity I have left, the shorties have even gone outside to play in some of this inclement weather. Running in the sprinkler? Playing with the hose? Swimming? Yeah? Then consider this rain a free opportunity for the same without having to set up the sprinkler, unroll the hose, or walk to the lake.
But even that only lasts so long. So then we resort to the standard fall back position.... electronics. Perfect rainy day entertainment, especially since these toys are usually reserved in this house only for rainy day situations. So getting to play the PS3 a lot has been a treat. Until they have played it so much in the last week due to constant rain that they are now even bored with THAT. Now what???? Never fear! The local video rental place has a deal for a free video rental coupon for every A on your kid's report card! Woo hoo!! And with the A's these kids raked in this year, we should be sailing on easy street. Right? Let's just say there is a reason video rental places are becoming extinct. My kids are 12 and 10. They do not want to see movies from the 80's. And when all the newest movies (and I use the term "new" veeeeeeeery loosely) aren't eligible for this coupon promotion, I see how this place can get away with this promo without losing money. You want 6 coupons for free movies? Sure. No worries. I'll just make sure you will have no friggin' interest in ANY of the movies that are eligible for the "free"ness. You want a movie that came out within the last 10 years? Well that will be an additional charge. And you want it for more than 6 hours? That will be an additional charge too. But wait!! Our video games are eligible for this deal as well!! Look, we have pet shop, and my little pony, and lego games. Oh, you wanted a sports game? That will be...I know! I know! an extra friggin' charge. Sonofa.........
So now I am listening to my 3 kids fight over pillows (we have 9 between the family room and the futon in the basement...), blankets (we have 5 upstairs in the family room and more in the basement), and seating (we have a 3 person couch and a 2 person love seat) in order to watch crap on TV that none of them are actually even all that interested in. And yes, the shortest person must insist on stretching out lengthwise on the longest couch, using the most pillows and refusing to share her blanket. So the bargaining begins. Fine you can do that but then we (older brothers) get to turn off Sophia the First and watch something we like. Ok fine then here is a pillow and I'll move my feet 8 centimeters to the left but we are NOT changing the channel. Its going to be a great day. I can just tell.
So Mother Nature can suck it. I got it. You made your point. You are all powerful and you can put the kibosh on all the wonderful summer plans of all the little kiddies in all the land for as long as you want to. We are all at the mercy of your whims. I understand completely. But I implore you. I beg you, please for the love of all things good, right and holy, take your goddamn meds today. Get off the "I'm fucking miserable so I am going to make damn sure everyone else is too" bandwagon and let the kids get out of the fucking house today. For the love of god, woman! Tap into just one ever lovin' ounce of that maternal instinct that mothers are supposed to have and cut the damn kids a break. And how about having a bitch's back as well, hun?? Chicks should be looking out for each other, not sitting back with a cocktail laughing in the face of another's distress and her cranky minions. Come on, hook a sistah up with a little sunshine today forchrisake.
