Winter isn't just coming - its here. Maybe it hasn't arrived full throttle yet, with all its guns blazing. But its here. Its cold outside every day. There are no more 60 degree days, no more brief pockets of respite from the constant chill in the air. Don't get me wrong - I'm not complaining. I actually LOVE winter. I grew up in an area where sledding, skiing, snow mobiling, skating, and all types of winter snowy fun were everywhere. I learned to bundle up and enjoy it, because the only other alternative was to be miserable for 3-4 months. But I'm also not a fan of being cold for the sake of being cold, which is why the learning to "bundle up" part was such a crucial part of the lesson growing up. Because lets face it - NO one has ever EVER met a kid with ice cold toes and soaking wet mittens who was a joy to be around, or in anything resembling a good mood.
So I enjoy winter, but I enjoy it because I know how to stay warm and comfortable. I have the cozy blankets out on the couch that I can bundle up under when I am watching TV or reading a good book. Hot chocolate and hot spiced cider become a more frequent beverage of choice in front of the fireplace. I pull my fuzzy socks out from the back of the drawer and wear them around the house instead of flip flops. My turtle necks and sweaters and sweatshirts reappear from the bottom of the chest where they are stored in the summer. And the thermostat gets set accordingly.
Now I don't need the house to be at Miami, Florida temperatures in the winter. Usually 68 degrees is the generally agreed upon comfortable temperature for our house during the cold months. And for the most part, this temperature setting has been more than adequate to meet our warming needs. Until this winter. When our dog got smarter. And is now sucking my heat.
I thought it was only my husband who had a habit of being a heat sucker. You know, someone who is cold and decides to cozy up to you when you are nice and warm, and suck your heat away from you for themselves. And I don't care how often you try to say it. Placing your cold feet on my toasty warm feet isn't "sharing" heat. Because now my feet are cold as fucking ice!! And your feet are now getting the benefit of MY heat!! That's not sharing. That is stealing. Sucking my heat. And now the dog has gotten in on the action.
In our front room we have 2 windows that go all the way to the floor, and the 2 heat vents for this room are right under these windows. On one window, the vent is off set to one side, leaving half of the floor in front of the window open and bare. Every night, as I am straightening things up from the disarray of the day before, I make sure the dog's bed is in this bare spot in front of the window. I know she likes to look out the window and watch the snow fall or the squirrels running or the neighbors walking their dogs. So I make sure she has plenty of room to do this from her bed.
At some point(s) throughout the day, she is moving her dog bed on top of that vent. I don't just mean that it accidentally slid over a little bit, or that it shifted slightly to one side. No. That sucker has been dragged or pushed or pulled or hauled over to be left completely on top of and covering the heat vent. There isn't a single little tiny slat left for air to blow into the room that isn't completely blocked by her damn dog bed.
So we have a little game we like to play. I move her bed off the vent. I leave the room to go about my day. While I am gone, she moves her bed back on top of the heat vent and sleeps all toasty warm in her personal heat infused dog bed, secure in the knowledge that she has effectively sucked up all the heat in the room for herself. I return to the room and move her bed off the vent. This will happen at least 3 times a day. Every day. What. The. Shit.
And this is not a prima donna dog. She loves to romp in the snow and go for long winter walks in the woods. She's not doing it because she is too dainty to handle being a tad bit chilly. She is just effing with me. Taunting me when I am not looking. Like its all some big hilarious game to her. This is the shit I'd expect from my kids. Not someone who doesn't even have opposable thumbs. I guess I should have expected that this dog would be trouble eventually. After all, she IS from Alabama.
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