I have the best friends! I really do. I have friends I have known since I was 2 years old, and friends I have only known for 6 months, and I must say I feel really blessed to have so many wonderful people to call "friends". As with most people, my friends tend to fall into categories. There's the old friends, like from childhood. There's the good friends, from a particular period or experience. There's the close friends, like a friendship safety net. There's the new friends, with new experiences (and debauchery) to be shared. And there's the family/friends, who just like family, will always be there (whether you want them to or not, because they know too much and most likely can't be trusted to use that information for good and not evil).
The old friends I knew as a kid are the ones I may not have seen in decades. The ones who were there with me when I did all those stupid and embarrassing things that I pray to God don't show up in pictures on Facebook, and yet are the ones who will inevitably post all the pictures on Facebook. They are the ones who were right beside me wearing those awful 70's outfits that our parents put us in. The ones who knew me during my "wonder years" of bad perms, thick Coke-bottle glasses, braces, and teenage acne. These are the friends who might have a preconceived notion of who I am now as an adult based on all the annoying things I may have done as a young kid. Some of these friends may have seen me getting dragged up the T bar lift by my dangling ski because obviously sitting is the logical thing to do on a T shaped piece of wood nestled against my butt! Some of these friends might have been with me when my boat ran out of gas in the faaaaaaarthest corner of the lake from home. These friends might even have been good enough friends to listen to me when I said "Hey, you jump in and push - kick really hard - while I get in and pull it with the ski tow rope, and you two just paddle like hell!" You just can't buy that kind of loyalty. Really. Sometimes these friends won't let you live down a foolish childhood mistake. Like hypothetically taking a vocabulary test you haven't studied for and upon seeing the word "satire" you, hypothetically, write down "a large mythical beast with a bad temper" because you are assuming its a typo and the teacher really meant to write "satyr". Hypothetically.
Then there are the good friends I have met along the way, the ones I have picked up in my many, MANY travels - I've had 17 addresses since college! These are the friends that I might lose touch with but carry so many wonderful memories of, the friends who bring me back to a specific time in my life. They probably haven't met my husband or kids, and I probably haven't seen them in years. I'm sure if I happened to get together with any of them, it would be just like old times but there would also be a learning curve. Because these friends knew me during a certain period in my life, and only for a small fraction of time, and people change and grow up and mature. So getting to know these friends all over again would be one of the most awesomest things I can imagine. But I think at this age I would hope that these friends would not necessarily be running naked through car washes any more. Or sneaking through the back woods of North Carolina trying to find a double wide trailer that sells mason jars of moonshine in 26 flavors. Hypothetically speaking. Or the ones who become your saving grace when you are living somewhere akin to "the worst place EVER", because they can make you spew Diet coke out of your nose by casually discussing smegma over lunch. These are the friends I am probably thinking about when I randomly burst out laughing at things that remind me of them, like references to the office copy machine guy on SNL played by Rob Schneider (Steve-o, The Steve-inator, Baron Von Steve-ster), or when someone tells me a story about trying to set up 2 friends and I instantly think about deaf mutes. It's these shared experiences that connect me to these friends in ways that cannot be undone, regardless of the passage of time, and for that I am so grateful.
There are also the close friends I have met along the way, who I have remained in close and fairly regular contact with, whose kids are friends with my kids long distance, the ones who invite me to their kids' weddings, birthdays, graduations, etc. and even if I haven't seen them in a year or more, it's like putting on a comfortable pair of slippers. These friends understand how tough it can be to relocate every few years, and they know how to make the most of 4 years of friendship. They can make that 4 years stretch out into a lifetime, and even if I never see them in person again, the phone calls, Christmas cards, and Facebook messages somehow manage to sustain that friendship just like I was still living down the street. These are the friends that I can go years without seeing but who can easily make me laugh until I cry, or hypothetically pee myself, in a phone conversation that can often go on for 2+ hours. They may not be able to "be there for me" in person now, but there isn't anything we wouldn't have done for each other when geography wasn't in the way. These are the friends who will drive over at 10:30 pm to help you out when you have fallen down a flight of stairs, because your other friend (who, hypothetically, lives only 2 houses away) has ignored your desperate phone call for help (you know who you are!!!). These are the ones who won't "judge" if your kid, hypothetically, takes a dump on the side of the road while visiting their house because the walk across the yard back to the house and inside to the bathroom was "too long". And this is the friend who jumps in the car on a moments notice to come and sit through the night with you for 6 hours to cry with you and hold your hand during a family emergency. The one that you would do the exact same thing for even if it's been more than 2 years since you've seen each other.
I am also lucky enough to have new friends, friends I am still getting to know and who are still getting to know me, but who already know me well enough to know about my inherent shyness, introversion, abhorrence of sarcasm, and fear of confrontation, and STILL want to be my friend anyway. The people I look forward to creating memories with and hopefully someday soon, being able to call my close friends. These are the friends who will do anything they can to help out when you are living in a hotel for 6 weeks with 3 kids and a dog in a brand new city in a brand new state. The ones who are willing to invite you over and introduce you to their circle of friends, who make you feel "part" of something for the first time in a new place. Its their faces you look for in a crowd because its always reassuring to know at least ONE person when you are walking into a new and unknown situation. They don't realize it, but something as simple as saying hello and chatting at a kid's football game, or asking how a parent/teacher conference went can mean the world when you are the new family in town, especially if said parent/teacher conference didn't exactly go "as planned" and you now have to prepare to kick some major ass when you get home. These are the people who have all the good inside information (which teachers to avoid, which sports team parents are the drama stir-ers, which pediatrician/dentist/ER/urgent care clinic/salon/etc is the best or worst, where to get the best pizza/mexican/italian/chinese/etc food in town....) and are willing to share it! Every friend starts out as a new friend and it is my every hope that they will become my close friends as time goes by.
With family/friends, the line between "family" and "friend" becomes hazy or non-existent. The bond that is shared between these friends is as strong as any family bond I have ever seen. These friends know me better than I know myself. They can tell me what I don't want to hear and know that I'm gonna be pissed as hell at them for calling me out on my shit, but that I'll be over it soon and will eventually thank them for it. These are the friends I can share my deepest secrets, fears, insecurities, failures, anxieties, and sadness with. And these are the people I call first to share in my joys, victories, successes, happiness, and laughter with. These are the people I can just share a "look" with, and they know to go along with me as I tell all the kids about the ever elusive goat-salmon hybrid fish - called the salmoat, but pronounced "smote" - that I'm pretty sure just washed up on the shore of the lake. They just know not to question, to go along with it, and if possible to offer their own bizarre contributions. These are the people who know without a doubt, no matter how pissed off I get at them, they should NOT under any circumstances EVER let me start a bonfire when I have been drinking. Again. Because I like my eyebrows just the way they have grown back in. These are the ones who will go to bat for you, even when they know they are on the losing side. Its these friends who will circle the wagons around you and protect you like a mama grizzly against anyone who hurts you. And its these friends whose new spouses are informed in no uncertain terms that you better treat my friend well because if you ever hurt her you will have to deal with me. Its not like I have ever whispered those exact same words to one (or several) of them as I hugged them in the receiving line at their wedding. Because that might be crossing the line. So I definitely didn't do that.
Regardless of what category a friend might fall into, I am very grateful for all of my friends. I am lucky that I get to make new memories with so many old friends who have chosen to stay in touch and maintain an active friendship. I am lucky to live someplace where people are so open and welcoming to new friends. We don't often take the time to tell everyone how important they are to us, or how much we appreciate them. This is more true with people or friends from the past. There are a lot of people who have touched my life in a very real and significant way but maybe for only a short period of time. Regardless of the length of time or the category of friendship, I want to thank everyone who has touched my life with their friendship. I really do have the best friends.
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