I have heard all the stories from friends and families of what its like to have teenage boys. All of the shenanigans that take place. All of the trouble that is caused. All of the food that is consumed. All of the lessons that get learned the hard way. So far, I have been very lucky in that my kids are really good kids (insert Karma laughing and pointing at me...) and have given me minimal amounts of "real" trouble. Sure they get into things, make messes, do things they aren't supposed to do but when it comes to serious problems? We have been very fortunate thus far. Maybe that's because I've technically only had a teenager for one year. My experiences last night are leading me to believe that the next 5 years are going to have me buying stock in Depends. Because I was damn near peeing myself laughing at my son and his friends and their idea of "fun". Let me set the scene....
3 almost/nearly 14 year old boys in the basement to spend the night. Big Dude is sitting on the front edge of the futon attempting to play the PS. Friend #1 is sitting near him on said futon, whacking him on the face and head with an old pool noodle. Friend #2 is riding my daughter's Barbie Princess scooter around the basement, back and forth in front of the TV. I come downstairs to discuss morning plans with Big Dude and I witness this scene. As I am trying to have a slightly serious conversation with my son, he wrestles control of the noodle from #1 and begins his own series of face/head whacking. #2 then grabs a Nerf sword and Nerf shield, scoots over to the futon, and offers his version of "assistance". I attempt to recover some sort of composure and get Big Dudes attention. He stops and turns to look at me. The next thing I see is a Nerf sword shooting up between his legs and turning him into a crumpled heap on the floor in front of me. Meanwhile, the face of #2 is peeking out from behind a Nerf shield as the scooter slowly rolls backwards, amid 3 voices hysterically laughing...
Needless to say, I gave up and went upstairs to wipe the tears from my face. At that point any further communication was obviously futile. This morning, they emerge from the basement looking tired and bedraggled. Little Dude looks at #1 and asks "What is that on your forehead?" Big Dude starts laughing hysterically and says "It was all #2's idea!". #1 enters the bathroom and comes out having realized someone has written "loser" on his forehead with a marker. His response to this is "I'm surprised you didn't write 'penis'." Turns out, that was #2's original plan but he realized he might get in actual trouble for this so decided to go with "loser" instead. And with that, they walked to the Circle K. With #1 and the "loser" written on his forehead.
Again I realize I am only just scratching the surface of what is actually possible with a group of teenage boys, and that I am very early in the process of discovering which of those possibilities will become part of my reality over the next 5-8 years. Its a good thing my kids have inherited my sense of humor...otherwise they might actually get in trouble for some of the shit that they do. Lucky for them, its really tough to be taken seriously in discipline when you are laughing so hard you are crying....
No comments:
Post a Comment